Monday, April 20, 2009
*Wipes the dust and cobwebs off this old thing*
Its kinda sad. I feel kinda sad that blog has been relegated in the face of a new quicker shallower rival Twitter. I have started to talk to people the same way I do when I twit, cramming too many verbs into a sentence and stopping after only 15 words or so...I am sure I am annoying my friends with it.
It is also very liberating having the freedom to write what you mean with out deleting parts like I am doing here, I mean I could just ramble on and on like bla bla bla bla bla if i wanted to like I am doing now...hardy har bla bla bla, and no one can censor me. nice
The other day I thought of a real poignant thing to blog about and couldn't wait to get a chance to jot it all down and share it with y'all but for the life of me I can't remember now what it was.....
no...wait, that was it. It was to do with the universe...ok so, how do I put this...
I had a realisation, what one might call a brief stumble into nirvana. I know I am not the first to write about this and certainly not the most clear and comprehensible person to be trying but I really meant to write it down in a blog before I forgot it. I felt (not thought), I actually felt that time as we understand it here in the West lost all it's meaning, as though I were able to erase every concept i knew about past, present and future and i imagined that I existed in the moment which was just a bunch of energy and objects quivering about their business, I soon felt this to be true and very real and it was a very strange sensation to realise that every single thing that could ever exist was quivering there at that very moment at the same time as me. From the biggest and furthest Planets in the universe right down to the smallest particle that we know of, only existed there and then, or should I say here and now, and that they could not exist anywhere else. As though the entirety of existence was on a stage of sorts at the same time and performing all at the same time, as though we were in a play and the curious thing about it was that there was no where else any of it could ever exist.
This is what I felt, and not theorised. And I felt like I wasn't alone.
I felt as though I was sharing the experience of life with everything around me, All the people dying at that moment, all the hearts beating at that moment, all the life being born at that moment, and every moment is always like that.
Every single human, animal, living organism was experiencing (life) at the same time. This awareness made me feel way more in touch with everything around me, and also more responsible towards the people I could see because i knew that we are all part of this huge performance/experience that we call life.
I know it's not a new thing and probably has some sort of root in Indian Eastern Buddhism or something but, since it wasn't something I was thinking but something I felt, I wanted to share it with you.
don't know why. I guess i felt quite emotional about it, as though for the first time in my life I felt a part of something bigger than an idea. And I also felt a bond with everything and everyone around me. Very Hippy.
I don't anymore, it was only for a short while. Haha Bollocks to you all, (all those that drive too fast and don't realise that the rules of the road are there to prevent others from getting hurt and not there just to get in your way, and those that let their dogs shit in the street, all of those people who have no consideration for anything or anyone but themselves, screw you!)
I came up with another cool realisation as well, but this one was a little more in my head and less something that I felt.
Everything in life is just energy and is burning down to its eventual exhaustion at different rates. Here's how I got there...
I was watching a log burn and how much energy it gives off in the way of heat and how relatively quickly it exhausts it's energy so that it changes it composition into charcoal. Then it made me think that humans are exactly the same, but give off our energy more conservatively and slower until we eventually exhaust and die and turn to soot. And we give off heat but not as ferociously as a burning log, than I thought, actually everything in the Universe is moving and expending it's energy at different rates. Flys fly fast and move real quick and relatively exhaust their life energy fast compared to us, even rocks are changing their composition very, very slowly, and will eventually be something else, so much so we can't feel their inner energy translated into heat because the exhaustion of their movement is imperceptible to us.
Therefore, the whole universe is not made up of solid fixed stuff, but of energy plus a little matter in motion quivering at different paces dying/changing at different speeds.
That is of course only a thought which milled around in my head for a little while, none of it is based in, on or of anything, but just my conceived perceptions.
I don't know.
Excuse the randomness and incoherence of this blog, I've been writing it at different intervals while running to and fro the studio to comment on mixes etc.
I'll chuck this up now and add some photo's when I am home.
p.s. The boy on the beach in the mask is me...i have no idea what relevance it has to the blog but somehow, it kinda fitted in my crazy head!!!
*REVISED ADDITION : I just realised that if this were true, it completely undermines the content of the masterpiece song by Take That 'Everything changes but you..."