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Monday, April 20, 2009

*Wipes the dust and cobwebs off this old thing*

Its kinda sad. I feel kinda sad that blog has been relegated in the face of a new quicker shallower rival Twitter. I have started to talk to people the same way I do when I twit, cramming too many verbs into a sentence and stopping after only 15 words or so...I am sure I am annoying my friends with it.
It is also very liberating having the freedom to write what you mean with out deleting parts like I am doing here, I mean I could just ramble on and on like bla bla bla bla bla if i wanted to like I am doing now...hardy har bla bla bla, and no one can censor me. nice
The other day I thought of a real poignant thing to blog about and couldn't wait to get a chance to jot it all down and share it with y'all but for the life of me I can't remember now what it was.....
no...wait, that was it. It was to do with the universe...ok so, how do I put this...

I had a realisation, what one might call a brief stumble into nirvana. I know I am not the first to write about this and certainly not the most clear and comprehensible person to be trying but I really meant to write it down in a blog before I forgot it. I felt (not thought), I actually felt that time as we understand it here in the West lost all it's meaning, as though I were able to erase every concept i knew about past, present and future and i imagined that I existed in the moment which was just a bunch of energy and objects quivering about their business, I soon felt this to be true and very real and it was a very strange sensation to realise that every single thing that could ever exist was quivering there at that very moment at the same time as me. From the biggest and furthest Planets in the universe right down to the smallest particle that we know of, only existed there and then, or should I say here and now, and that they could not exist anywhere else. As though the entirety of existence was on a stage of sorts at the same time and performing all at the same time, as though we were in a play and the curious thing about it was that there was no where else any of it could ever exist.
This is what I felt, and not theorised. And I felt like I wasn't alone.
I felt as though I was sharing the experience of life with everything around me, All the people dying at that moment, all the hearts beating at that moment, all the life being born at that moment, and every moment is always like that.
Every single human, animal, living organism was experiencing (life) at the same time. This awareness made me feel way more in touch with everything around me, and also more responsible towards the people I could see because i knew that we are all part of this huge performance/experience that we call life.
I know it's not a new thing and probably has some sort of root in Indian Eastern Buddhism or something but, since it wasn't something I was thinking but something I felt, I wanted to share it with you.
don't know why. I guess i felt quite emotional about it, as though for the first time in my life I felt a part of something bigger than an idea. And I also felt a bond with everything and everyone around me. Very Hippy.
I don't anymore, it was only for a short while. Haha Bollocks to you all, (all those that drive too fast and don't realise that the rules of the road are there to prevent others from getting hurt and not there just to get in your way, and those that let their dogs shit in the street, all of those people who have no consideration for anything or anyone but themselves, screw you!)

I came up with another cool realisation as well, but this one was a little more in my head and less something that I felt.
Everything in life is just energy and is burning down to its eventual exhaustion at different rates. Here's how I got there...
I was watching a log burn and how much energy it gives off in the way of heat and how relatively quickly it exhausts it's energy so that it changes it composition into charcoal. Then it made me think that humans are exactly the same, but give off our energy more conservatively and slower until we eventually exhaust and die and turn to soot. And we give off heat but not as ferociously as a burning log, than I thought, actually everything in the Universe is moving and expending it's energy at different rates. Flys fly fast and move real quick and relatively exhaust their life energy fast compared to us, even rocks are changing their composition very, very slowly, and will eventually be something else, so much so we can't feel their inner energy translated into heat because the exhaustion of their movement is imperceptible to us.
Therefore, the whole universe is not made up of solid fixed stuff, but of energy plus a little matter in motion quivering at different paces dying/changing at different speeds.
That is of course only a thought which milled around in my head for a little while, none of it is based in, on or of anything, but just my conceived perceptions.
I don't know.

Excuse the randomness and incoherence of this blog, I've been writing it at different intervals while running to and fro the studio to comment on mixes etc.
I'll chuck this up now and add some photo's when I am home.
Cheers bye.
p.s. The boy on the beach in the mask is me...i have no idea what relevance it has to the blog but somehow, it kinda fitted in my crazy head!!!
Ta ta

*REVISED ADDITION : I just realised that if this were true, it completely undermines the content of the masterpiece song by Take That 'Everything changes but you..."


Annie said...

a friend once told me the same thing about the energy of all the things around. you know what she said? she said that this is god. that was her idea about god. all the energy of every living and not living thing, the whole planet, the universe. although i'm kinda allergic to the word "god", i like that idea.. but i won't call it god. it doesn't have any name. or.. maybe soul?

congratulations on your experience you had. i sometimes feel the same, only not that deep though. but i feel like a little tiny part of a gigantic 'experiment'.. or not experiment, but experience.. i love to imagine how others see me, what birds think about me sitting under the tree, or what everyone else around me is thinking at the moment. and then i feel like i could absorb everything.. like a vacuum cleaner =D
and i don't feel alone anymore.

thanks for sharing your experience! if you ask me, that was the best blog you've ever written <3

feel lovely hugged!


Lisa said...

(this is dravenreborn) now you've made me think tonight, not just think, but THINK. my gut reaction is that regardless of how fleeting this "feeling" was, it was pretty fucking awesome to feel that way, feel connected and not alone. thank you for sharing this.

tigerangel71 said...

your blog makes pefect sense to me and in no way incoherent at all....Really all that matters is it made sense to you..and I think I know why you found a pic of you as a boy fitted for the me its says that in life we put on a mask for the outside world and we hide who we truly are a lot of the time and really only people close to us are the ones who see us with a I properly make no sense to you..but I know what I mean :) a very interesting blog.


WelshRocker said...

lol! I can beat that pic!

+BRI said...

I get moments where I experiance a kind of opposite. The old idea that a moment is there and gone, never to be experianced again unnerves me. Time and everything else swirling around so quickly you hardly have the time to savour it, and once its gone it doesnt even exist anymore. All you have is a memory. Memorys that are so fluid they change over time anyway. It can feel like drowning in a sea of too many unorganised ideas, so its good to know that you can ride the proverbial waves with the current too !

Love Ruth

Ase123 said...

Its good to see a post here finally :).

Sounds like you hit for a moment what most Buddists seek to reach all their life. Congrats.

I've, sadly, never felt that deep. Perhaps some day, heh.

Nice update though, good to see some blogs actually contain something meaningful

KerryIsTheDynamite said...

this made me think of that thing that i told you to look at, the dude talking on the story of the year album. it made me really think WOW. like about how every single thing we know and have heard about has been on this "pale blue dot." and how people all fight to be in control of something which is actually so small...

i quite like the way you look at things, and totally agree with how every single moment in time can never be the same as another...
i also think that this universe is a fuck lot bigger than us, we are just a tiny spec in it. like in Men In Black (lmao what a movie) where they were like omg how can there be a whole galaxy in the marble? but then our galaxy was in a marble too... lmao

elinette said...

Maaah, If only I could express myself better in english...but your post was so complicated and interesting that I really cant explain my thoughts about it. totally sux being swedish.

But what I can write and what I will write to you is that I really liked your post. I totally dig that you blog about whatever that pops up in your head, it sort of makes you more of a person than just someone in a band typing on a keyboard. You always write such wise and thoughtful things in your blogs. always making my thoughts and imagination wander away...which is very positive considering my usually occupied mind =]

thank you for being such an intelligent and creative person. we need more guys like you in the world.

btw, what kind of technique did you use in your last paintings? I loved the one with the girl and the horse. Absolutley stunning.

Annie said...

Mufassa: "Everything you see exists together in a delicate balance. As king you need to understand that balance and respect all the creatures from the smallest ant to the leaping antilope.."
Simba: "But dad, don't we eat the antilope?"
Mufassa: "Yes Simba,but let me explain. When we die our bodies become the grass and the antilope eat the grass so we're all connected in the great circle of life.." (~ the lion king)

best movie ever <3 full of wisdom
it's like pooh the bear, only a little more metaphoric and deep

Laine said...

I'm not sure what you're smoking, but whatever it is, can you please share it because I could use a diversion.

Jamie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Annie said...

gosh i wanted to say the same thing laine was saying but changed my mind x.x if i'd said the same old "no matter what you smoke, share it" phrase you would have answered? thats weird.. but i'm happier with my comments. especially the lion king one i posted 2 minutes after i somehow fell out of my bed xP

anyway.. you know i like to flood your blog comments with nonsense..

take care and have a tanfastic day!

Meagan said...

That Take That song is pretty much the best thing about my day. I'll have to dusk off the tapes and take a listen!

Juditta said...

I haven't translate the last post, I have read really fast, but I'm in arrears with the others posts. But I pluck up the courage to do comments this blog. I know, I had comment in the past, but this time is different... I'm trying to make a speech a little more serious and less short. But I don't say very well English, on the contrary, I didn't say it. I guess.. That I speaking a new language, that doesn't English![Junglish or Endith] By The way... I wish that you understand it...
I want to Thank you (and the band) for help me... Your Music, Your Lyrics were with me every moment. Helping me to tackle my problems. Like if you are the air that I breath, and the source of my energy. I love so much music, and you with Avenged Sevenfold are my favourite band in the universe. Then... Thanks! ^^ And sorry for the awful language.

nick said...

Hey there, I am with ya with the energy part, but I add 2 things wich keep me busy if I can't get to sleep.
First is kinda the thing you said with the fly but what if the time aka timeline we live in is nog a given.
We can see +- 25 frames per second, what happens if people could see lots more, would there be more to see?
What if a complete different lifeform had another frame interval, living together and not seeing eachother, like the movie the others.
And another one, I was watching a program and there where 2 frogs of another kind and the question was could one frog understand the other frog?
The answer was no, cuz it was a different species
and the brain didn't recognise it and therefore did not process it, so the frog ignored it and didn't even hear it cuz of that.
So blabla, imagine what we can't hear...

It keeps you thinking doesn't it.
Good luck with the new album by the way, can't wait to see you again in the melkweg and buy that new army of songs.


Rambling Man said...

Hi jamie,

first time poster, long time reader here. i remember your diary posts on the band's offical website during the Start Something era. Was really great of you to keep the fans posted even if no one else in the band bothered.

anyway, i don't really have anything to say about this specific post in particular. i just wanted to finally say hi and post on the latest topic so you might read this.

one thing i've always wanted to ask you (since the making of Liberation Transmission) was about your vocals on the songs.

Would you ever trade verses with Ian or have dual vocals? I ask because I always liked your vocal contributions to live performances, especially the acoustic ones.

Do you sing more on the next album or have you completely given up?

Rahiel G said...

I've been feeling very much the same way for the past couple of weeks myself and im not quite sure whats brought it along, maybe there is something in the water..., but one of my thoughts which coincides with something you rambled on about in your blog is... why were put on earth at this particular time in history what is the perpose of this when we could have quite easily exsisited during the battle of hastings or in the furure during the robot reveloution(jokes) and what is our particular purpose??? is it simply procreation or something much grander?

its also got me thinking about the inevitabillity of death and when i think about that the only way i can find comfort is when i remind myself that up untill recently we were allready dead and it blows my mind when i think that things have actually exsisted long before i have an will continue to long after i've gone and that i should try and use my time here wisely. ok this response is starting to get quite long now, it is infact long enough for me to put in my blog, that is if i had one, and its too bloody long to put in twitter, perhaps i could put it in as a series as tweets :P

also i like your take on the law of conservation of energy,i'm a physisist and your describtion was pretty accurate espeially the burning log anaology.

much love dude