A Day In the Life of.....(me of course). A photographic memoir of Reading/Leeds Festival 2009

Yuck..hate waking up. kick start the heart with hotel instant coffee, not ideal but will do

shower.

footwear, best place to start at the foundation, build it up from there. Dr Martens originals in red, can't go wrong.

...but where to go next? empty bag, panic, lobby call approaching aarrgh!

Ok, grey Fred perry, nice. do hair. looking good.

grab a few hobnobs for breakfast, always worth having a bedside pack of hobnobs for those midnight emergencies. ha

Hobnobs immediately made me feel fat, had a freak out threw my clothes on the floor in a tantrum and sit and sulk for a bit before starting again. what a big girls blouse eh?

Struggle with my cases and Mikes cases cos last night he jumped in a cab to the airport because his wife went into labor and he unfortunately will miss the shows. gutted but happy for them. how the hell am I gonna carry all this shit downstairs?

Finally, sweating and in the elevator. nobody answered their phone to help me carry the bags...shitty friends!

Bus parked outside hotel. i'm early so i get to choose a decent bunk.

Keith our tour manager and Doof our front of house sound engineer, up early and ready as always.

Upstairs on the Bus, bunkalicious!

Crew guy spread out all over the back lounge, p45 in the post mate

Waiting for Ian. the story of our lives.

Decide to go and pester some of the other guys who were up early and got brekkie. tour manager tells us ian hasn't started to pack yet so i have time for some food....maybe the only food i'll get today so I take advantage of it, also being a Veggie can get tricky sometimes, not always easy to get a meal on tour.

orange juice. Sean my mate grabbed the camera for a bit.

Keith having a yawn and showing early signs of anxiety due to leadsinger syndrome.

full veggie breakfast! mmmmm!

Ian arrives. at last.

Looking sharp, at least the time he put in he came up with the goods. ha

jocko's gone straight to his bunk and asleep, until i blast a flash in his face...what are friends for eh?

do they?

shot of doof hard at work front of house. good perspective.

bit of the new family guy on the laptop. can't beat it. bus is on route to festival.

pick my bunk looks clean enough, no suspicious stains on the walls or ceilings.

climb in for a nap. very comfy for a small guy like me.

Jocko gets up and we have a fight.

stop at the services, to have a wash and a poo. not me of course, I'm like the queen, I don't poo or fart.

Jocko practices hygiene, also washing your hands is way to avoid getting a cold when cramped on a bus with ill people. Doesn't always work though. (irrelevant fact #1)

Take over the services. I guess we don't look like the friendliest bunch of dudes in a big gang like this, but we're all nice enough underneath the tough exterior.

Ian.

Back on the bus, ians getting ready to do a dj-ing set. Someone gets roped into doing some mc-ing, this is all a little over my head so i stay out of it. "Got my brass knuckles hanging from my neck and my chain"

Planning something, wish he was as enthusiastic about time keeping as he was Dj-ing. haha.

Kitted up for IBIZA.

Sculls-R-us

Whistle posse!

Arrivez, There's the tent from the perspective of a dozing dog

"excuse me, where's the NME/Radio 1 stage?"

duh

Go and see what the inside looks like. Nice, start to get amped to play.

Start the tedious game of waiting to perform, super excited, but got a while before we go on so try and keep busy by practicing my blue steel to calm the nerves.

Catering put on a wicked spread, loads of veggie food too.

Opt for tons of pasta so i can get the energy to go mental tonight.

Boooosch, destroyed it!!!

Dessert!!!! i may be little but i can eat like a champ!

me and stu keep our minds occupied by having a nice quite round of golf, and let the food go down, uuueerrrgh feel sick.

Weather holds, sky look awesome. Bring on the night.

Cuppa tea?

"These Boys are bananas!"- coconut ape

Go and watch the Gallows perform to get amped up, and it definitely works.

Frank

Jocko, flash in the face again. sorry bruv

Lee working out bits to fill in for mike not being able to attend. Sure gonna miss having there, but super excited to meet his little girl when I get home.

Moon is out, time to go.

over to the dressing room to warm up and focus

our logo look a different color to everyone elses...that's cool! feeling special!

more food that probably won't get eaten.

festival toilets, this one better than most, but not the sweetest smelling abode.

Man down, Stu representing his boy! respect.

Tonight's set. Let's fricking do this!

No photo's of the show obvs..i was busy.

After the show, pumped, amped was killer! probably got boozed up cos i don't remember the rest. Thanks READING/LEEDS. thanks for having us, thanks to all the people who watched us, thanks for the support and for making it a show to remember. fond memories x out

I really want to write more...

but I am totally immersed in my work at the moment. I very much appreciate the encouragement and kindness that you guys have written, and your requests for more blogs, and i promise when i have a moment i can explain why it has been difficult for me to write. For now, I hope I don't force you guys to lose interest, i will be back in full very shortly. Sorry. lame I know.

Sitting in the Mix Studio...

compiling some of my thoughts.
Feeling a dull balance of anxious and pensive emotions.
There's a lot of things causing this, one main reason is an abstract thing called the future. every time I feel I have acquired a little space between myself and it's overwhelming grip, I slip unnoticeable back into worrying about things I have no real control over. I understand that this is part of our human condition and that if my Ego is not kept in check it will get stuck in a feedback loop of defending and protecting itself much to my emotional dismay. I get it, I understand it, but I still have to let it happen. It's like knowing I am a male and a biological animal with desires, (and mostly finding that part comical) but knowing it does not prevent it from being the case, understanding it doesn't simply control it.
After so many years walking around in a certain way, it is not easy to walk to another rhythm even when you know it's a healthier beat to walk to. My past darkness (ignorance/naivety/social conditioning) has an inertia which means I have to be very conscious (or work harder to let go of my minds grip) to remain in the light. Mildly frustrating, annoyingly constant.
Check out this for a irony - I hope one day it will be easier for me to live effortlessly in the current moment. Har Har -my usual contradiction.
I have recently been jolted by a booked called the long emergency, which is definitely an eye opener, and I feel myself trying to protect my sanity by claiming "it can't be true, and It's just paranoia" and then I realise of course I would say that. This I know is my conscious defensive survival instinct. But aside from 'how I don't want to believe what I am reading or my taking the easier path of denial', the Shadow remains over the uncertain future.
A hollow kind of gut shadow.
I wonder how much I should allow this information to dictate my choices and decisions. Also, why should I apply cautionary predictions when what my eyes currently see around me isn't really echoing the warnings.
I think you'd have to read the book in question to really understand what I mean, I am not even going to attempt to summarise the substance of the book because I would do such a bad job.

I'm sure I know what I am going to do.
What I am always guilty of doing.
I will pretend to be letting the information sink in, where in fact I will let the information drain out of me and I will slip silently back into ignorance and complacency.
As usual. Sad.

Maybe I can paint some images now while I am feeling overwhelmed, as a testament that I was here. I really don't know why it should matter though, It's not like I have ever looked back at my previous work and felt like I did when I painted it.
I feel like I am impotent to a positive future outlook. I know that I am a humanist and get very affected by suffering and feel the pulse of humanity beat strong when we are in conflict with each other and our environment, but this time it weakens me. Drains me. When I cannot see much point in the future, my now is very affected. Like I am a dog that realises the futility of chasing it's tail, but as much as I tire, laying down and quitting is equally as pathetic.
Stuck in the middle.
self obsessed pity.

Here's another thing....
I ask myself how could I choose responsibly to bring a child into a world that holds a very limited future for them which has been created by our own selfishness and short term glory.
Turn a blind eye to it and rely on instinct? wouldn't that be ignorance?
I mean, maybe one can justify it by taking what one can get right now and f*ck the future, but isn't that exactly why we find ourselves faced by such bleakness.
It seems unbelievable that most people find it so unbelievable,but then of course I realise most people are just scared and are not likely to pay any attention to anything that jeopardizes their luxuries.
It baffles me that since people would do anything to protect the lives of their children, (I constantly hear people say they would give their lives for the lives of their offspring) but yet when the sirens are blatantly screaming as they are now, people ignore the warning...and carry on like nothing is wrong. I mean if you would do anything for the safely of your child..Heed the warnings! put some effort into getting yourself, your children and family and friends informed. It makes no sense to avoid leaning on the side of caution.
Picture this : A responsible parent with a child passes a dog who's hackles are up and you hear faint murmuring of a growl and could be dangerous, would avoid the dog, walk around him to protect their child, correct?
Let's just say that there are respectable people in the scientific and ecological communities telling us that there are problems and things we are doing are hurting their future chances of survival, even if they were just Murmurs with no real evidence of it actually happening, for the sake of their Children a responsible Parent would take measures to protect their children's future, right???
Yet, how come we see ignorance all around us when the signs are more than murmurs!
If there is a chance that there is danger for your child in a particular situation, even if it is a small chance, you would surely bank on the side of caution and avoid it right? So what is the different with regards to the economical and environmental dangers? (which would effect you child even more acutely than yourself due to its nature)

I know I have had it really good in my lifetime, I have very rarely been left wanting, I have always been afforded care, food and shelter, with endless luxuries. I realise I/we have lived in the most prosperous time of humanity, and I am no longer deluded to the fact that it cannot be sustained. The idea of progress without end is just nonsense, accelerated entropy = complete exhaustion.
We have all been irresponsible Kings and we have ignored the damage we have done to our Kingdom. All the golden crowns in the world will not stop a desperate hungry man with a gun.

"When things seem like they are too good to be true, it usually means they are."
(quote Michael Richard Lewis-27th April 2009)

*Wipes the dust and cobwebs off this old thing*

Its kinda sad. I feel kinda sad that blog has been relegated in the face of a new quicker shallower rival Twitter. I have started to talk to people the same way I do when I twit, cramming too many verbs into a sentence and stopping after only 15 words or so...I am sure I am annoying my friends with it.
It is also very liberating having the freedom to write what you mean with out deleting parts like I am doing here, I mean I could just ramble on and on like bla bla bla bla bla if i wanted to like I am doing now...hardy har bla bla bla, and no one can censor me. nice
The other day I thought of a real poignant thing to blog about and couldn't wait to get a chance to jot it all down and share it with y'all but for the life of me I can't remember now what it was.....
bugger!
no...wait, that was it. It was to do with the universe...ok so, how do I put this...

I had a realisation, what one might call a brief stumble into nirvana. I know I am not the first to write about this and certainly not the most clear and comprehensible person to be trying but I really meant to write it down in a blog before I forgot it. I felt (not thought), I actually felt that time as we understand it here in the West lost all it's meaning, as though I were able to erase every concept i knew about past, present and future and i imagined that I existed in the moment which was just a bunch of energy and objects quivering about their business, I soon felt this to be true and very real and it was a very strange sensation to realise that every single thing that could ever exist was quivering there at that very moment at the same time as me. From the biggest and furthest Planets in the universe right down to the smallest particle that we know of, only existed there and then, or should I say here and now, and that they could not exist anywhere else. As though the entirety of existence was on a stage of sorts at the same time and performing all at the same time, as though we were in a play and the curious thing about it was that there was no where else any of it could ever exist.
This is what I felt, and not theorised. And I felt like I wasn't alone.
I felt as though I was sharing the experience of life with everything around me, All the people dying at that moment, all the hearts beating at that moment, all the life being born at that moment, and every moment is always like that.
Every single human, animal, living organism was experiencing (life) at the same time. This awareness made me feel way more in touch with everything around me, and also more responsible towards the people I could see because i knew that we are all part of this huge performance/experience that we call life.
I know it's not a new thing and probably has some sort of root in Indian Eastern Buddhism or something but, since it wasn't something I was thinking but something I felt, I wanted to share it with you.
don't know why. I guess i felt quite emotional about it, as though for the first time in my life I felt a part of something bigger than an idea. And I also felt a bond with everything and everyone around me. Very Hippy.
I don't anymore, it was only for a short while. Haha Bollocks to you all, (all those that drive too fast and don't realise that the rules of the road are there to prevent others from getting hurt and not there just to get in your way, and those that let their dogs shit in the street, all of those people who have no consideration for anything or anyone but themselves, screw you!)

I came up with another cool realisation as well, but this one was a little more in my head and less something that I felt.
Everything in life is just energy and is burning down to its eventual exhaustion at different rates. Here's how I got there...
I was watching a log burn and how much energy it gives off in the way of heat and how relatively quickly it exhausts it's energy so that it changes it composition into charcoal. Then it made me think that humans are exactly the same, but give off our energy more conservatively and slower until we eventually exhaust and die and turn to soot. And we give off heat but not as ferociously as a burning log, than I thought, actually everything in the Universe is moving and expending it's energy at different rates. Flys fly fast and move real quick and relatively exhaust their life energy fast compared to us, even rocks are changing their composition very, very slowly, and will eventually be something else, so much so we can't feel their inner energy translated into heat because the exhaustion of their movement is imperceptible to us.
Therefore, the whole universe is not made up of solid fixed stuff, but of energy plus a little matter in motion quivering at different paces dying/changing at different speeds.
That is of course only a thought which milled around in my head for a little while, none of it is based in, on or of anything, but just my conceived perceptions.
I don't know.

Excuse the randomness and incoherence of this blog, I've been writing it at different intervals while running to and fro the studio to comment on mixes etc.
I'll chuck this up now and add some photo's when I am home.
Cheers bye.
p.s. The boy on the beach in the mask is me...i have no idea what relevance it has to the blog but somehow, it kinda fitted in my crazy head!!!
Ta ta


*REVISED ADDITION : I just realised that if this were true, it completely undermines the content of the masterpiece song by Take That 'Everything changes but you..."
Bummer!

I opted for bright....

Just got back from Snowboarding for a few days. It was pretty cool, no powder but plenty of room and the weather was great. Since I cut off my blonde Mullet I was concerned that I would look too normal and wouldn't get ridiculed so I made up for it by wearing the brightest outfit I could muster, and surely enough, I got ridiculed plenty. haha.

Sorry there's no content in this blog, I have my head in the clouds trying to think about this album and stuff so I'll keep it brief.

Just thought I'd share out the comedy photo's so you too can chuckle along with me.

...and yes I wear a helmet, because I value my brain, and yes I wear wrist protection because I value my job too.

Bye for now....

this interweb is making me feel old!!!

...So someone mentioned in a comment that I should get a twitter. so I did. I don't know what I am supposed to do with it though. I am wondering if it was a direct result of me posting a few words regarding the Welsh rugby. Correct me if I am wrong but the purpose of having a twitter is the same as a blog? only way shorter? so i can update it like every five minutes or something? So like, "just woke up" and "is brushing teeth" "is having a poop" type of thing?
The internet is making me tired. I can't seem to find enough time to play on the xbox because there's so many things to become obsessive compulsive online with. haha, only kidding.
so whatever this twitter is, I have one and I hope it doesn't hurt me or anything, I shall try and keep it updated, would love any advise from all you budding little inter-blog wizards out there as to how I should use it.
I wrote an actual letter the other day with a pen and paper! can you believe it? I can still write joined up writing! I dread to think how poor my spelling was, ne' mind, it was thought that counted.

Jamie is planning never to grow up!

bugger, I almost forgot Twitter: jayLostprophets


Also, could someone please contact the lostprophets myspace and ask them to re-link my blog to the site. I have forgotten which one of us is running it at present, last time I went on it i read some seedy messages by accident that were not meant for my eyes, so I vouched never to open Pandora's box again...plus I think the boys banned me from using it because I am way too opinionated. I wonder if that's why my blog has been disconnected?????
...It's time to call in Columbo me thinks...

All records sound the same these days......

for anyone who cares...here's a really good article about it.

and here's a cool non profit site that supports artists who want a bit more dynamic in their art